This entry will be a little different than any other blog entry I've posted thus far. As, you read, you may or may not agree. Enjoy.
For about as long as there have been people of different sizes, ethnicities, races, genders, sexualities and economic classes, there's been stereotypes. Stereotypes are developed when people generalize a group of similar individuals after observing or hearing of them doing something or acting out in some manner and then begin associating all similar people with those actions. Many people argue, "Some stereotypes are true", when in actuality they are not. In order for it to be true every person that you are labeling under that umbrella must have those same actions and or behavior that you are accusing the mass amount of people of.
Stereotypes are ignorant no matter who they are generalizing and pointing the blame to. We are all guilty of unconsciously stereotyping someone at some point in time, but what I'm writing about is the blatant ignorance and misunderstanding of those who know exactly what they are saying when stereotyping and labeling someone.
To move on to my entry for today, lately I've been receiving messages, reading on social networks and have had conversations with friends regarding the negative connotation associated with participants and patrons of the Ballroom Community. For my readers who are unaware of what the Ballroom Community is, please refer to www.youtube.com and type in Paris Is Burning. Or try googling LGBT Ballroom community or something of the sort. Any who, I've observed more than often, that when people find out that people are participants of Ballroom, also commonly called; ballroom kids, house kids, house queens, etc., they're attitude and demeanor towards them shifts in a negative way. People often associate Ballroom participants with crafting (credit card fraud, stealing, identity theft), being flamboyantly gay, having a lack of education, being unemployed, being drug users or working as prostitutes and escorts. In no way am I saying that the aforementioned things don't take place in the Ballroom Scene, but it is not done by everyone. In addition, I know many heterosexual and homosexual people that are non-ballroom that fit under many of those same categories.
The part that I find most funny about this topic, well not funny, but more so sad, is that the main people who judge, ridicule and/or shun the ballroom community are homosexuals themselves. Homosexuals are oppressed people as is, but yet they are broken down further to be oppressed by thee oppressed. I've heard some of the most feminine boys say "that's too gay for me", referring to the ballroom scene. Then, I see the same feminine boy in booty short and dancing bent over at the club. I like to refer to this as the "your gay is, gayer than mine" syndrome. This is when you have a homosexual judging another as if they are better because of some type of masculinity or other characteristic that they feel they have over the other homosexual that makes them better. It doesn't, you're both homosexuals.
The problem is actually the fact that they don't understand the ballroom scene or either just don't feel it's for them. These are two totally different things. If you find the scene is not for you and choose not to participate that is your choice. The problem comes in when people who don't understand it or choose not to participate want to judge the folks that do choose to. In most cases, these people have never attended a ball or met some of the quality people within the scene. But, because of what they've heard and seen a few ballroom participants do, they feel they have it all figured out and US all summed up.
It's funny because I received an anonymous message that stated, "You are so sexy, too bad you’re a house kid." I laughed profusely after reading the message and was puzzled as to why that was too bad and who was it too bad for? Surely not me. I'm sure this person knows nothing more about me than I'm cute and in the ballroom scene. Not knowing that while I'm participating in the ballroom scene and conquering my category, I'm also conquering life in the real world. I have my own and ask no one for anything, have a Bachelor's, not living at home, never been in legal troubles other than traffic violations, etc. But, yet all he seen was ballroom scene and labeled me as a pity. And I'm not the only one. Ballroom houses some of the most talented, educated, gifted, successful and creative people that I've ever met. His mistake.
I say all this to say, that you cannot generalize a whole group or population of people based off your experiences, observations or hearsay that has occurred in some. When you generalize and stereotype you are the one who looks ignorant, not them. The reason we will never be able to get anything done as a community is because we are too busy ripping each other apart to try and make ourselves look better. You've been oppressed yourself, so why oppress the folks going through the same struggles as you. This is no different than Black people and the whole light skin and dark skin issue.
Wake up people, ignorance is blast.
I think the ballroom scene is still kind of 'underground' and difficult for most people to understand. You are right...stereotypes are WRONG and we should all focus on getting to know and respect each others differences instead of criticizing them
ReplyDeleteAw man! I'm glad you brought this out!! I want to first agree with you about one thing.. your viewpoint on "your gay is gayer than mine" is true because the majority of homosexuals, since the dawn of age (or that I've read up on) and can remember, seek credit from others who appear to be better than themselves because they feel invalidated. Maybe their upbringing, where they never received a considerable amount of attention or love or a recent relationship or whatever the case may be caused it. Still doesn't make it right to put someone else down though. Furthermore, I agree with the scene not being for everyone. But also take the good with the negative -- it's healthy for a relationship if partners are into different things. So in your case with that ignorant person, we can write that off as his lost and nothing else needs to be said, lol. But also that goes for people within the ballroom scene as well. When I did my stint in the scene, I had people advising me to not date people within the scene because they weren't going anywhere. I found that wrong because I know my head is on right and had already achieved goals I set for myself at that time. When I left the scene, it was sad to say nothing had gotten better. But I was lucky enough to come across great people who have it really together and going on i.e. you, D(even though we haven't physically met). I think once the shade diminishes and our own people start to look at each other better, the other people who don't quite understand will eventually have their eyes opened as well.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything said here.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from. The majority of people who judge the ballroom scene are gay because that scene is very underground. I'm not one to judge but that particuar scene is definately NOT for me. I don't judge those who do participate. It seems fun if you're into that type of thing. I can say that here in Atlanta that some but not all of the "kids" do participate in the above named stunts. Even so, it's not my life and I choose not to judge. But one thing I'd like to say to the author of this blog is if you truly want stereotypes to cease then you should practice what you speak and not use labels either. The term "feminine boy" is a label. I'm a man 100% but because I like fashion I'm immediately labeled as "fem". Our community is the worst when it comes to judging and using labels. Until we decide to embrace each other for who we are our community will always be flawed. **I'm typing this from my phone so please excuse any misspelling and/or grammitcal errors** (^_^)
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