What Makes A Healthy Realtionship?

Wassup Readers! I hope you enjoyed and learned something from my last post. I was requested to blog about a specific issue and because I love my followers, readers, etc. I'm granting the request. Enjoy!

I was asked to blog about, whether or not I would talk, date, enter into a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with some type of incurable, long-term, or terminal disease; cancer, HIV, Lupus, Diabetes, etc. The following paragraphs are solely my personal views and take on the situation; you know yourself better than anyone and should make the decision best for you. I picked this title because a persons physical health isn't what necessarily makes the relationship unhealthy? There's a lot of other things that can be changed, that often times make the relationship unhealthy.

When getting to know people, more than often we don't necessarily ask questions about the person’s health. And if you are just getting to know someone then I personally don't feel that they are obliged to divulge their entire medical history to you. Now, when you begin actually dating and becoming intimate, I do believe that if there is any chance of the person potentially acquiring something from the other person, then it should be discussed prior.

Once this is disclosed, you then have to figure out a few things. One, before learning of the person’s health situation, were you really into them and wanted to pursue a relationship with them? Are you prepared for the task of possibly having to help them during times when their illness has them feeling under the weather? Are you able to deal with trips to the doctor/hospital if they occur? Are you prepared to possibly alter some of the activities that you normally participate in with your partner, if need be?

If you can handle these things and really like the person, than I say go for it, I would. I remember someone asking on twitter, "Would you date someone who had HIV?" My answer was yes because if I honestly like the person and am feeling them, then why not. If you are taking the proper precautions that you should be taking anyway, then what is the difference? I think a lot of folks have messed with people that may have some sort of illness and just never bothered to ask, therefore not knowing and ASSUMING that they are fine. So in one sense, it is almost easier when you know what you are dealing with, because you're not taking chances and getting caught up. Everyone deserves to be loved and if you are truly feeling someone than I don't think that certain things should play too big of a position in you continuing to. Research and find out about whatever the illness is and prepare yourself ahead of time. Like I mentioned earlier, I don't feel everyone is strong enough to deal with certain situations, but for those that are, go for it. Cancer, Lupus, HIV, Diabetes, etc., are not death sentences in this day and age and so it is possible for the two of you to have a healthy, long lasting relationship still. Don't miss out on someone that makes you happy and you can build something with, if you are able to deal with the situation at hand.

I'd love to see some of the responses of my readers of this. Would you date or pursue a relationship with someone who had some sort of illness? Why or Why not?

Stereotypes & Misconceptions

This entry will be a little different than any other blog entry I've posted thus far. As, you read, you may or may not agree. Enjoy.

For about as long as there have been people of different sizes, ethnicities, races, genders, sexualities and economic classes, there's been stereotypes. Stereotypes are developed when people generalize a group of similar individuals after observing or hearing of them doing something or acting out in some manner and then begin associating all similar people with those actions. Many people argue, "Some stereotypes are true", when in actuality they are not. In order for it to be true every person that you are labeling under that umbrella must have those same actions and or behavior that you are accusing the mass amount of people of.

Stereotypes are ignorant no matter who they are generalizing and pointing the blame to. We are all guilty of unconsciously stereotyping someone at some point in time, but what I'm writing about is the blatant ignorance and misunderstanding of those who know exactly what they are saying when stereotyping and labeling someone.

To move on to my entry for today, lately I've been receiving messages, reading on social networks and have had conversations with friends regarding the negative connotation associated with participants and patrons of the Ballroom Community. For my readers who are unaware of what the Ballroom Community is, please refer to www.youtube.com and type in Paris Is Burning. Or try googling LGBT Ballroom community or something of the sort. Any who, I've observed more than often, that when people find out that people are participants of Ballroom, also commonly called; ballroom kids, house kids, house queens, etc., they're attitude and demeanor towards them shifts in a negative way. People often associate Ballroom participants with crafting (credit card fraud, stealing, identity theft), being flamboyantly gay, having a lack of education, being unemployed, being drug users or working as prostitutes and escorts. In no way am I saying that the aforementioned things don't take place in the Ballroom Scene, but it is not done by everyone. In addition, I know many heterosexual and homosexual people that are non-ballroom that fit under many of those same categories.

The part that I find most funny about this topic, well not funny, but more so sad, is that the main people who judge, ridicule and/or shun the ballroom community are homosexuals themselves. Homosexuals are oppressed people as is, but yet they are broken down further to be oppressed by thee oppressed. I've heard some of the most feminine boys say "that's too gay for me", referring to the ballroom scene. Then, I see the same feminine boy in booty short and dancing bent over at the club. I like to refer to this as the "your gay is, gayer than mine" syndrome. This is when you have a homosexual judging another as if they are better because of some type of masculinity or other characteristic that they feel they have over the other homosexual that makes them better. It doesn't, you're both homosexuals.

The problem is actually the fact that they don't understand the ballroom scene or either just don't feel it's for them. These are two totally different things. If you find the scene is not for you and choose not to participate that is your choice. The problem comes in when people who don't understand it or choose not to participate want to judge the folks that do choose to. In most cases, these people have never attended a ball or met some of the quality people within the scene. But, because of what they've heard and seen a few ballroom participants do, they feel they have it all figured out and US all summed up.

It's funny because I received an anonymous message that stated, "You are so sexy, too bad you’re a house kid." I laughed profusely after reading the message and was puzzled as to why that was too bad and who was it too bad for? Surely not me. I'm sure this person knows nothing more about me than I'm cute and in the ballroom scene. Not knowing that while I'm participating in the ballroom scene and conquering my category, I'm also conquering life in the real world. I have my own and ask no one for anything, have a Bachelor's, not living at home, never been in legal troubles other than traffic violations, etc. But, yet all he seen was ballroom scene and labeled me as a pity. And I'm not the only one. Ballroom houses some of the most talented, educated, gifted, successful and creative people that I've ever met. His mistake.

I say all this to say, that you cannot generalize a whole group or population of people based off your experiences, observations or hearsay that has occurred in some. When you generalize and stereotype you are the one who looks ignorant, not them. The reason we will never be able to get anything done as a community is because we are too busy ripping each other apart to try and make ourselves look better. You've been oppressed yourself, so why oppress the folks going through the same struggles as you. This is no different than Black people and the whole light skin and dark skin issue.

Wake up people, ignorance is blast.