Skeletons In The Closet

I'm sure that most of my readers have heard the term, "everyone has skeletons in their closet" before. For those who haven't, wasn't sure of what exactly it meant, I'll break it down. Basically, what this phrase means is that everyone has done something in their past that they may not necessarily want folks to know about or have kept a secret.

This is such a true statement because everyone makes mistakes, life decisions that they aren't the most proud of when they look back on them and/or have did something that they probably shouldn't have. I'm a firm believer in the whole cliche' idea that "you should never regret anything in life, but simply take it as a life lesson and learn from it." That's really just because I'm very optimistic and always seem to find the positive of a situation, even when in the back of my head I may be cussing myself out for doing some dumb shit.

The purpose of this particular blog is to kind of provide some advice to folks on the whole skeletons in the closet thing. Far more times than often, I've seen where people have remained friends, associates, etc. with someone simply because that person knew so much about them or their past. They feel trapped. They feel as if I must keep a certain connection with this person because the moment that I excommunicate myself with them, they will tell everything they know. They will let those skeletons on out of my closet and I don't want that. I honestly felt like this up until recently.

It comes a point when you have to realize that life is an ongoing lesson. Each day you are subject to experiencing different things and learning different lessons. You won't always get it right and you may sometimes do things you aren't proud of, but that's life. At least, you can say you've done it and it's taught you something. But, when you continue to hold on to these folks simply because you are scared of what they may release you are giving them control and power over your life. Each day you are walking on egg shells, being fake or phony, just to hopefully keep them from releasing these bones.

You can't allow someone to have that much control over your life. What doesn't kill you, will only make you a stronger person. If they aren't good for you, get them out your life. If they let the bones out the closet, at least you no longer have them holding anything over top of your head. What people don't realize too often is that once the skeletons fall out the closet, they will lay there for a minute for folks to observe and then will be swept up and thrown away. Meaning people may be in shock, disappointed, mad or whatever it may be for the moment. But, life goes on and it will be old news within minimal time.

Moral of the story, you make your life decisions, not anyone else. Never let someone feel they have power over you because of something they feel they have hanging over your head. The only people you need in your life, are the ones that need you in theirs. And if they aren't helping you, they are probably hurting your personal growth in some way.

A Drunken Mind, Speaks A Sober Heart

I can remember since about the age of 13 hearing my older relatives often speak the phrase, "A drunken mind will speak a sober heart." I often wondered what the hell wee these folks talking about. How could a heart be anything other than sober and why would your mind be drunk? It wasn't until later on in life, that I discovered the meaning behind this phrase that I had been hearing throughout my adolescent years.

What the phrase means is basically that a person is able to say exactly what they are thinking, how they feel or what's in their heart when they are under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs. Often times people, men especially, are afraid of being vulnerable and/or expressing their true feelings toward issues, but get them drunk or high and they can be some of the most emotional beings you've ever witnessed.

The hard part is often determining, is this how they feel or if they are acting out of anger or spite. Or perhaps they are just really drunk and speaking out their ass. I think you are able to determine which of the choices it is by the way they deliver the content, the emotion in it and body language.

The sad part is that you can never get this same raw, uncensored, true emotion and dialogue from some people unless they are in a state of inebriation. I remember judging a person’s feelings for me off of how they acted and what they would say to me when they were drunk, simply because that was the only time they would open up. Sucks huh?

So do you agree with the phrase? Does it bother you that the only time you can get someone’s real feelings out, is when they are drunk? Should you take what a drunken person says seriously? Are these words actually coming from the heart? What are your thoughts?