I can remember since about the age of 13 hearing my older relatives often speak the phrase, "A drunken mind will speak a sober heart." I often wondered what the hell wee these folks talking about. How could a heart be anything other than sober and why would your mind be drunk? It wasn't until later on in life, that I discovered the meaning behind this phrase that I had been hearing throughout my adolescent years.
What the phrase means is basically that a person is able to say exactly what they are thinking, how they feel or what's in their heart when they are under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs. Often times people, men especially, are afraid of being vulnerable and/or expressing their true feelings toward issues, but get them drunk or high and they can be some of the most emotional beings you've ever witnessed.
The hard part is often determining, is this how they feel or if they are acting out of anger or spite. Or perhaps they are just really drunk and speaking out their ass. I think you are able to determine which of the choices it is by the way they deliver the content, the emotion in it and body language.
The sad part is that you can never get this same raw, uncensored, true emotion and dialogue from some people unless they are in a state of inebriation. I remember judging a person’s feelings for me off of how they acted and what they would say to me when they were drunk, simply because that was the only time they would open up. Sucks huh?
So do you agree with the phrase? Does it bother you that the only time you can get someone’s real feelings out, is when they are drunk? Should you take what a drunken person says seriously? Are these words actually coming from the heart? What are your thoughts?
I think that you should take a drunk person's words with a big grain of salt! It's kind of like sex when you're in the heat of it and one of the two says I love you and when the act is over it's like omg did they just say that. I believe that one's actions will determine how they really feel not so much of their drunken words.
ReplyDeleteI was in a relationship that I stayed in because like you I responded to the person's drunk words and actions but now that I'm not in it and I look back and think how stupid I was. I never really thought about it until I read your blog. I'll end like this so think about a drunk guy that wants to have sex, he'll pretty much say anything to get the person in the bed...should you believe him lol
Great response!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, it's difficult for someone like me (who would be straight-edge were it not for these damn cigarettes) to take this concept of alcohol-as-midwife-to-honesty seriously. I can rationally grasp it, but it truthfully represents a character defect to me, as if there's aspects of one's being that can't be articulated without a numbing agent. Anaesthesia for the psyche, if you will. I think the challenge is to try to express your truth from a sober state, to present yourself fully formed. Because someone who can't be fully honest around their partner, they probably aren't being fully honest with themselves.
ReplyDeletewell this is kind of interesting to hear everyone's response. i'm 25 and at one point in my life i was considered a hopeless romantic! and beacuse of that i don't know if the words spoken to me while he is drinking should be taken into consideration? is he still in love? u be the judge! i've seen him like 3 times in the past 10yrs. and everytime we talk he is drinking and we have the same conversation!! US! how i messed everything up and how we could still be together .we could have children and how much i hurt him..and he follows me EVERYWHERE!.u kno that kind of stuff!! but when he's sober he hates me!! doesn't talk to me, claims he can't stand me won't look at me NOTHING!! its kind of weird i must admit because its like two different people!! so what do you think? is this a sober heart or what??
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ReplyDeleteI know I'm a little late in responding to this, but I think you explained this so well. I really helped me to understand a situation I encountered this weekend, unfortunately for me it was not a positive outcome.
ReplyDeleteThis is very true!!! Jus last night my boyfriend and I were drinking I stopped after one cup but he ended up wasted, I got a phone call from him at 3 in the morning he was pouring his heart out saying things he would NEVER say if he was sober... I got a positive and negative outcome from this but the negative is way worse than the positive... So this is true!!!
ReplyDeleteI need to to thank you for this fantastic read!! I certainly loved every bit of it.
ReplyDeleteI've got you saved as a favorite to look at new things you post…
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