Wassup Folks! It's been a minute since I've came through and have spoke with you'll, but here I am! What I wanted to blog about real quick today is equality. From assumption one would probably think that I'm speaking of equality as far as rights for races, sexes or genders, but this entry is actually about equality when it comes to friendship.
For quite some time now and more-so recently, I've been battling with myself of whether I really actually get back what I put into some of my friendships with people I consider close to me. Are friendships suppose to be completely equal in terms of getting back, what you're putting into them? Should that person be there for you, just as much as you are for them? Is it right that you are always there, on call when they need you, but they can hardly pick up the phone to text, IM or call just to say hey and how are you doing? Do you feel these are things that you should have to address to someone who is supposedly a close friend or is it an unwritten rule?
I find myself often putting up with a lot of BS that the average person wouldn't when dealing with "friends". Friends argue, have disagreements, etc., but at the end of the day they should still be there and any issues you'll have should be resolved between the two of you, correct? I will never understand people that are quick to turn to their next friend and bash the "friend" they aren't getting along with at the time, really don't understand it. But, many times I have rationalized the idea in my head to find a way that made it ok, simply because I didn't want to be "mean" and end a friendship because of comfortbility or because I felt they were an individual that needed me in their life. But, when does it become about self and not your friends? When do you put yourself first? Is it after it's clear that most of the folks around you definitely do, that you decide to do the same?
The easy solution is to cut these people off, because some it almost seems BLATANT that the friendship is very one-sided and is about their needs and you are their shoulder to lean on, but don't look to be offered the same treatment. The hard part is that when you truly love and care about individuals it's just not that easy to let go.
What's your thoughts on this? Should friendships be 50/50 or is there always that's going to give more in the friendship than the other?
Very true man but it comes with age and experience. Certain people have to be cut out of your lives for betterment of yourself. If you find you're unhappy with doing whatever it is you're doing and your friends are only dragging you down, cut em off for a short while and see if you can go on w/o it and if they're friends, they will support you and change themselves also, if they're mature or smart enough. Also, don't try to change them either because you can't change people...just change yourself. You came into this world alone so you don't HAVE to have this person in your life. You may love them with your all but love has no boundaries. You may love another just the same if not more. Besides, God said love everyone. So I think it's perfectly fine to cut people off when the time is needed to especially if the person has shown that they don't have YOUR best interest at heart, why should you have theirs! You can be loving and sweet but don't be dumb. Let the friendship run its course and if nothing is at the finish line to keep you bonded together, part ways. As "nene" says, you might be able to "mend fences" later. Lol. Just love yourself. Just love yourself.
ReplyDeleteAs in any relationship, despite the levels or intensity, one individual is always more embedded in the surface ideals and actions that sanction the union. Its simply how it is. In MOST of my friendships, its the OTHER individual who has to put in the MOST effort to make phone calls and send messages as to remain in frequent contact with me. Daily communication on a personal level is my shortcoming, since public forums are my speciality. HOWEVER, I am the one in MOST of my Friendships that is the most Thoughtful and Understanding as it pertains to events, occurrences, activities and the likes. Thats my Strength. The PROBLEM is that people belive that Friendship MUST exist along the lines of Daily Contact. Thats very Untrue. In my Real Life, I see MOST of my Life-Long Friends ONCE every 2-3 months, if that. HOWEVER, when we are around one another, its as if NO TIME has passed. As a result, we are able to have one, long-term conversation, and get Caught Up to where we are 'Suppose' to be. Friendship should be measured on an internal foundation, as oppose to external Matter-Of-Facts.
ReplyDeleteThe word Friend is one many use loosly and take lightly. Though many would like the title of calling another a "friend", many are unwilling to put in the work.
ReplyDeleteI do believe friendships should be 50/50, however when the percentage strays, its then time to evaluate the type of friendship you have with that person. Keep in mind there are many types of friends (besties, associates, ect.) And occasionally there can be a shift, based on needs or circumstances.
Seasonal friends also need not to be confused with real friends they're only there for a season. There's a over population of seasonal friends and they come a dime-a-dozen, but REAL friends are an endangered species and last a lifetime.
In an ideal friendship everything would be 50/50 but the fact of the matter is that in any type of relationship one person always demands more and if you like the person enough then your going to give it, sumtimes it will be you that demands and sometimes youll be the one giving. I think the most important thing is to be able to know when your being taken advantage of so that you can let the person go
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteI love your view points however, I feel there is no point in wasting so wasted energy on proclaiming people as your friend and wether or not they return everything you do for them in exchange for defining the friendship. I really try not to worry about what my friend or associates are doing for me. Instead, I take pride in knowing that I've done everything I could for them or anyone for that matter. Your reward will come back to you in good faith. Whatever we dish out in this world is mirrored back to us in one form or another. To me, there is nothing greater than being a servant. Caring for others and making people smile fills the void for the folks that might not make u smile. Love you