I've observed over the years that many relationships encounter problems due to the insecurities of one mate or both. It seems as though people jump into these relationships thinking that they will be able to conquer anything without logically evaluating things first. First, I don't care what anyone says, that whole "love will conquer all" BS is just that BS! Not saying I don't believe in love, I'm just a realist and it's somethings that even for love you can't take.
Secondly, most of the time these insecurites that these people have stem from one of two places; their own shortcomings or trust issues. When I say their own short comings, I'm speaking of them knowing that they are liable to cheat, flirt, etc. and so they automatically assume that their mate will too. Or they feel that in some area of life or within them self they are lacking or don't feel complete. This is common in the beginning stages of relationships when trust hasn't yet really been completely built. Although, in a perfect world you wouldn't be in a relationship before building that level of trust in the first place. In addition, trust issues lead to insecurities because of the simple fact they don't trust their mate.
Next thing you know you're checking myspace messages, going through text messages, facebook, twitter, etc. And if you have to monitor all of these things to be with someone, then what's really the point? You can't be with someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so do you honestly think that if they are looking to cheat they won't? A relationship requires trust, not insecurities.
In conclusion, before entering into relationships evaluate them prior. There's no need to get into a relationship and be insecure. Attacking everyone that speaks to your mate, messages them, comes in contact witht them, checking social networks, etc. is not the answer. It will only make you look like an insecure psychopath.
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ReplyDeleteUr So cute Duante'
I use to live that way... I had Major insecurities... Going tru txtes emails etc.. But i realize what i don't know won't hurt me and most of the times it was all in my head.
ReplyDeleteI loved everyone moment of your brief thesis per say blog.. well put together.. oh you are beyond cute.. u are the epitome of sexy..
ReplyDeleteD. J McKinley
Well sometimes folks just do not think before they start to make such a large commitment.
ReplyDeleteNice to see you blogging again..please become more frequent honey.
Now at the risk of being called a “hater” by your fans on here MTPF, Im going to play devils advocate here and attempt to create some intelectual dialouge. As I do agree that yes, checking a mate's text messeges, twitter, etc. is typically unacceptable and shows signs of insecurites, but what do you feel about a mate that constantly is on yahoo, twittering,Facebook, etc. instead of building that bond and trust with a person or basically giving that person some undivided attention that would erase such insecurities? And further more feels the need to keep the social conversations private?Yes insecurties is an issue that though it sounds easy on paper, to say one should deal with their insecurites, how do you deal with insecurities when in the society that we live in we ALL and I stress ALL have some forms of insecurites, weather they manifest them selves verbally, emotionally or other wise. If you are truly that being that is ulitmtly perfect then please step up and show the rest of us the way. If one is in search for a mate that has no insecurites, issues etc. you will absolutly be setting your self up for failure. But when entering a relationship knowing that for example your mate has had some things in the past that has brought on these issues of what some may call insecuritues, how do you as the other person perpetuate such insecurties by your actions ( not you directly Im speaking figurativley, so please fans calm down). In addition sometimes the person that you may consider “insercure” could actually be searching for that security in the relationship that you may not be providing, so that they may be able to feel assured, so its not always that they are looking for something to incriminate you with, but something to ease the burdon of not only your actions but the rumors and stories that tend to be spread through out our community for VARIOUS reasons, when some one is involved which Im sure I dont need to list out, with a mate constant seeming as though they are always texting on yahoo, Facebook Twitter etc. or always out at the club, staying out all night etc. how does that translate to the other person? If the shoe was on the other foot how would you like your mate to treat you in such situations? A lot of times we sit and say “YOU need to do this” or “ YOUR problem is this “ but how often do we sit and say “ I did this” or I need to do this” or even more “I could have done this better” to make this work.Sometimes our own selfishness, and pride not only gets in the way of our own growth with someone else but also tend to affect someone else , and more times then not we realize that way after the fact and then we enter the world of, “shoulda, coulda, woulda”. We tend to walk around and say whats good out our mouth's but our actions speak way more volumes of something different, you can tell some one that you love them till you are blue in the face but if you arent putting that effort, and action behind it, what impact is it having? This reminds me of a saying “ promises are a comfort to a fool”. How many times have you all the readers said, "I would never do this", "I dont do that" and at some point or another …..you have? So as not to take away from MTPF's post I am going to close by saying there are two sides to every story, two people to make a relatonship work, dont only think about your perceptions, but have a unbiased opened hearted conversation with your mate, before the end of a relatinoship, we tend to say observe a mate, I challenge you to talk to your mate, because in just observing, your perception may not be the same as the other person involved. Just because you were fortunate enough not to have expierienced certain something , doesnt negate or devlaue the expieriences of some one else.....just something to think about
ReplyDeleteIf someone is insecure in their relationship then they need to step back and reevaluate themselves. They may have deeper issues...
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