One of the biggest attributes that we search for whether it be a relationship, friendship or anything else along those lines is TRUST! Trust is a quality that so many demand out of people, but don't always necessarily show that they deserve it.
For the longest I was the type of person that went with the philosophy of trusting everyone, until they gave me a reason not to. I've changed my mind about that perspective some time back now. And while I don't give everyone that trust factor, I do still execute it to some. The funny thing about trust is that as quick as someone has earned it, they can lose it, just as fast. The whole issue of trust makes it completely difficult when trying to find friends or a potential lover. Being that you've already been through so much in the past, you often have already categorized these people into some type of group in your head and have already determined why you don't intend to trust them. We all try not to be guilty of this action but it's very subconcious and natural. I can admit to the fact that I really don't trust many people and can count on one hand the amount of people I'd trust with my most secretive information. It's not that I don't want to, but I can't!
We all have "friends", but how many do you really talk to about ANYTHING that concerns you? I know personally I don't. It's not that I don't necessarily trust them, but then again maybe it is. I have 3 folks in my life that I do feel I can trust to tell anything to and don't have to worry about it going any further, but is 3 out of 9 friends really that great? At times I think I over analyze situations or just see things different from others, nonetheless it generally leads to distrust.
What do you do when you no longer trust a friend? Do you stop dealing with them completely? Keep certain parts of your life from them and continue to be "friends" or what? More than often I choose to remain "friends" and just refrain from releasing anything that I value as confidential information. They'll ask me why don't we talk as much as we use to? Or something to that extent and honestly it's due to me feeling that they've compromised our friendship in one way or another and I don't trust them, point blank. But, is that necessarily the way to go about it? I think we tend to hold onto friendships at times simply because we've become comfortable and may love this person or don't want to hurt their feelings. What about your own feelings? If you can't trust this person, why are they really there? What's the point?
Prior to becoming a 'Public Figure' of sorts, I ALWAYS Gave 100% TRUST in the very beginning, until an individual said or did something to me; as to burn that palet of comfort & colorful interest. I have learned, through fault, mistake & burden, that Trust can only be extended upon those whose motives and intent in our lives is pure & non-negotiable. I have extended myself to MANY, for reasons totally unselfish and beyond self serving. However, I often times forget that those on the accepting end arent always so apt to receive without expectation or extensive stay. Basically, I feel that Trust exists along lines that arent always clear & concise. We define the notion based upon our own experiences & circumstances; governing life. How its enveloped & shared is individualistic. How its delivered is rather sacred & genuine. I have learned, in most cases & situations that most people arent to be 100% trusted. Everyones plot in the existence of Trust takes its own marble stance.
ReplyDeleteI guess after being through so much with so many people, my outlook on trust is very straight to the point. Trust is earned. I don't trust no one until they given me a reason, too. As for friends or people who violated my trust, each situation is different from how I dealt with those certain individuals. Some I just totally cut off and others I made mental note of what happened and put them on a different level. Everyone in my life is on a different level in some way or another. They may not know it, but I do. There are some people, that I tell a lot of things and others very little. I don't think I tell anyone everything anymore or trust anyone with everything.
ReplyDelete