More than often I hear people using the word "I'm in love with him/her" or "my lover" or "I love..." and this is usually after they've known the person 3-4 weeks and I always wonder how are you sure and how do you know you are in love with someone after such a short period of time? Now, I'm not trying to put a timestamp on how long it takes for someone to fall in love, but I just honestly don't understand how you know someone well enough within a month to know that you are in love with this person. What gets me even more is that when it doesn't work out, these folks generally bounce right back and move on so quickly and repeat this same process right over again.
I truly believe that a lot of people don't understand the difference between being infatuated with someone and being in love with them. They can sometimes be confusing to decipher, but there are ways to tell one from the other. Now I'm not saying that because you have been with this person for a month you are just infatuated with this person and you can't be "in love" with them. Because that's not the case, although I don't believe you're in love with them after a month either. Perhaps you "have love for them", but I doubt you are "in love" with them. Once again this is only my opinion, me personally am not quick to tell someone I love them quick. I remember denying that I loved someone when close friends of mine kept telling me I was in love with them, simply because I wasn't ready to admit it.
Infatuation is this strong emotion that makes you willing to do lots of things for a person and think about them constantly, but it's generally because you are so physically attracted to them and/or your physical sessions. But, besides the physical there is nothing there. If the person was to be burned severly and their image be altered tomorrow, would you still feel that strongly about them and want to BE WITH THEM and not just BE THERE FOR THEM. Once you're in love with someone, you are willing to go to the depths for them and be with them throughout any situation that transpires.
The word "love" in general is thrown around so loosely for some folks that I find it to be funny. I never have been one to just throw the word around for two reasons. One, I realize how powerful that word is and the emotions that it can cause for a person. Two, after seeing the movie "A thin line between love and hate", I wanted no parts of no psycho bitches! LOL. But, seriously though I just think people should evaluate their actual emotions and situation before being so quick to spit out the three words "I Love You". If this person is feeling you, they still will be, whether they hear that from you or not. Don't rush love, let it come natural because regardless of what you think, you can't make yourself love someone. And sometimes it's better off that you don't.
So with that said, think back to your prior dealings and ask yourself were you really in love with that person or were you infatuated with them or just had love for them?
This is ironic, I just had this conversation yesterday with some one !!!!
ReplyDeleteVery well said , i have to propose the question, is there a time lapse on real love , and if so what is it?
ReplyDeleteAs stated in my post, I can't say that it takes a certain amount of time because no one knows their true emotions but them. I just feel that a lot of people are quick to assume that the butterflies they feel in their stomach are equivalent to love. Especially considering that this happens most amongst younger people. I think old folks call it "puppy love", as in not the real thing!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more, people are more interested in putting "I <3 _______" on their status on yahoo, or be able to click the "in a relationship" box that people have totally forgotten, what being really in love means. Some of these people need to ask themselves BEFORE they say that their "in love" do i even know his last name. TOTALLY not something you should be finding out, after you claim to be in love with this man/woman.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the response,
Francis Andre
www.FrancisAndre.com
Very true! But, I won't fault them totally because until you have truly, without a shadow of the doubt and deeply been in love, you wouldn't know what it was. I guess. Lol. And that last name part is so true, I know the full names of anyone I've ever loved or even been seriously getting to know.
ReplyDeletenow it depends on the levels we are speaking.
ReplyDeletewhen i say levels, the love in a heterosexual relationship versus a homosexual relationship differs in capacities that go unaccounted for.
& i say this from experience. as a lesbian, i have seen love thrown around whether it was my homegirl and her boyfriend of a few months or my best friend who is engaged to his partner of 9 years.
now there's the love, where i just broke up with my boo & i'm glad you rescued me and showed me what the real this is supposed to feel like
then there's the infatuation where you are blown over how they look, what sex does to you & well if we aren't together im gonna be hurt but like you said, they're back at it the following month
then there's LOVE that keeps you speechless. that has you changing your talk plan so you don't go over your minutes to converse with that person. where you stay up all night conversing about everything from the stars in the sky to the simplicities in life.
all to be taken on a much deeper level. and back to what you said, love is thrown around loosely and from experience, it takes a rare breed to fall in love.
i am the rare breed and it was a beautiful thing as it still is.
signing out...
ps. when to give up should be the next blog ;)
Check my other post I've touched on it
ReplyDeleteI do not believe love has limits so there is no telling when folks are in love..I base it off the longevity of the relationship and their unique interaction with each other.
ReplyDelete