I recently read two blogs on love and/or the lack thereof and they really seem to have hit home. I related to them so much in fact, that it inspired this one.
Love is a crazy emotion, everyone wants it, but hates what comes along with it. Love is like an over the counter drug, it can become additive. And yes, you can overdose on it as well. It definitely has side effects like any other drug, but often times as with real drugs, we pay the side effects no mind in search of taking (doing) whatever will relieve the pain (fill the void). I mean think about it, if there was this little voice that whispered, "Warning: He/She is subject to break your heart, lead you on, never commit, kill your wallet, fuck a friend or two of yours and then leave you high and dry." Would we still be so quick to fall?
Love can get you high and have you floating. Hallucinating, if you will. Just plain delusional at times. Love can have you seeing shit that isn't there or causing you to not see shit that you know is there! It can cause you to believe that as long as you have it, you don't need anything else in the world. But, all of the side effects aren't negative, in no way am I downing love. It can give you a feeling of completion and make you feel warm on the inside. Make you feel as though you have someone to share your every thought with and is always there by your side.
So now comes the rehab process. You're over taking the love drug and ready to move on, now what? You try to stop taking the drug (love) cold turkey first. Stop answering calls, messages, deleting pictures, etc. etc. You know the routine. So you find that this method isn't working and you try weaning yourself off of it. Try taking products like the nicorette gum (dating other people) to curve your appetite for the drug. You still take the drug, but are now trying to take it 1 time a day(text messages saying wassup, a quick phone call, myspace comment, etc.) instead of numerous times as before. You soon realize that, that gum is not helping you and is only a temporary fix and that the drug remains on your mind. So what is left to try now? How do you get over this substance that you've become addicted to and feel you can't live without? Do you try throwing it out the medicine cabinet completely? Do you keep it around and let it continuously remind you of the way it makes you feel and how good it once was for you? Or do you keep it around simply as a way to learn to cope without it, so when it presents itself again you'll be ready?
I really wish I could be your doctor and provide you with a quick and easy solution for this addiction, but truth is I don't think there is one. Trust, I've searched long and hard for it now and have relapsed a many times during this search. We always want the things that are bad for us because they make us feel good. And when it begins to make us feel bad, we're so caught up in, how good it made us feel for so long that we strive and strive for that first initial "high". But, any addict will tell you, you will never reach that high, that you first felt.
As for me, I've poured all the pills in the bottle down the drain, but often go inside the cabinet and stare at the empty bottle and reminisce quickly of how full it use to be with a substance that controlled me. Still have one pill stashed in a secret place, "just in case" and am hoping I don't get it out. But, hey you're always just one pill away from relapsing.
....like all drugs, you'll forever continue to chase that first high, so you ignore the signs. Things like your teeth are falling out, your skin changing color, you losing weight, etc...all in the name of that high that you once experienced. Just like with love; some are so taken by what it use to be that they will stop at nothing to ignore what it has become.
ReplyDeleteI myself am a victim of this drug. I still currently am strung out. To the point where I am so lost in it sometimes it gets scary. If this was indeed a drug that u could've overdosed and died from it by now. Its something that at one point I couldn't stop looking for. One day I just had to step back, and reevaluate who I was. I did this when I realized a consistent pattern with the kind of men I date, that they all have the same traits, and things about them that I didn't like.
I honestly believe that happiness is the ultimate life goal, I think lots of people think love makes them happy, and if only for a temporary high, on love most people will go thru it, just for that ounce of happiness even if it is for a short space of time.
Wow, I'm loving the metaphors, Daunte. Well just like a drug is addictive, so can be love as which you stated. I think counseling is a good way to help. Most people of color, have this stigma that counseling means crazy, but just like drug addicts, they need intervention. I noticed that writing, talking to a person who I can truly trust, time and staying away from a person helps to ease the pain. Focusing on one's career or self-worth can be a path in the right direction. Going to dinner, catching a movie or perhaps getting a dog like I did,which really helped my loneliness after my relationship. You will get there in time. One of my favorite quotes is "And this too shall pass.." Sooner or later this will pass and you and others, including myself will come much stronger than before.
ReplyDeleteIn life there's ALWAYS a choice.... A choice that may be driven by society and social norms, environment and peers, the longing inside one's self and or the proposition of another to make a choice. And as soon as we're able to decipher from which our choices stem, the sooner we will be able to, in my opinion, better choose or be better prepared for the possible outcome.
ReplyDeleteI was addicted to the LOVE drug, and the addiction wasn't the problem, nor was it the solution...
The problem were the side effects that came shortly after taking my first couple of hits: lying, cheating, mental abuse and the making up that consist of a good sexual session, the sugar coated lies, money and trips... LOL In hindsight, that was, at times, some of the best rehab I had ever went too!!!
I Now, have been clean from that prescription and it's side effects for close to a year.
Visited my Primary Care Doctor and was prescribed a new prescription... I'm not sure if this is a street drug given by the dr for my recreational habits, or if my dr is a street pharmacist helping me cope with the reality that I am addicted again and this time it's more than recreational!!!
WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID, I CHOSE THE FIRST DRUG, THAT LED TO HEART ACHE AND PAIN, BECAUSE I DID NOT READ THE WARNING LABEL THAT WAS PLACED IN FRONT OF ME. NOW I HAVE CHOSE TO SUCCUMB TO A NEW DRUG; BY CHOICE, AND HAVE PREPARED MYSELF FOR WHATEVER SIDE EFFECTS THAT COMES ALONG. SO FAR, SO GOOD.
I like your words here; however I'm more inclined to think of LOVE in a positive light.
ReplyDeleteLove (in its purest/truest form) is a precious, kind, wonderful and beautiful thing. It's extremely fragile and can at times be distorted or polutted, hence the cheating, lying, game playing etc..This is not the true nature of love and other times results in heartbreak, that could be the cause of unsavory behavoir. Such as promiscuity, harrassment, depression...etc..
If love is treated with respect it will remain in its truest/purest form for eternity.
Such love is the of God.