Microwave Relationships

We as humans are in such a need for instant gratification that often times we are rushing for the quickest solution. One of the biggest areas that we often fall victim to this, is with relationships. Everyone wants to love and be loved, but doesn't want to take the time that needs to be put in. I hear people often talking about their "husband" or their "wife" and have only known these folks for 1 or 2 months. This amazes me. What I find even more disturbing is the ones that have fallen "in love" within that 1 to 2 month span of time. I really just don't understand it. People want that feeling of comfort to the point that they are willing to skip right pass the step of actually getting to know the person. They have sex or talk on the phone for a week and the next thing you know, they're a couple. What do you really know about this person that soon? A relationship is not as simple as a rice, you can't just add water! Or in this case, just add another human.

I look at people that are constantly in and out of relationships one after the next and it's no surprise because when have they actually taken the time to get to know these folks. Every week you hear them talking about "my man", or seeing a yahoo tag giving "blahzay blah with my baby". And it's like, who is it this week? Like really? I mean it is one thing to be grown and go into something with the initial intent of, "it is, what it is". If you are just looking to get ya rocks off, tell the person that, they probably are thinking the same. Everyone feels they have to be in a relationship to have sex. Sure that's a great philosophy, but everyone isn't built for that. And at the end of the day, when your relationship is over anyway in 2 weeks, what did you have besides sex in the end! Just be upfront! It's almost like females getting married, simply because they're pregnant. Don't set yourself up, simply because society tells you it's the "right" thing to do.

Long-lasting, healthy relationships are usually those that took time to be devloped; i.e. dating for an extended period of time, getting to actually know each other more than just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. By doing these things you learn enough about the person ahead of time, to know if you should be taking that next step to actually form a relationship. I too have been a victim of this jumping into a relationship thing, scared that if I didn't snatch them up then, someone else might get them. When in reality, if it was meant to be, I shouldn't have had anything to worry about.

I can honestly say that I've learned a lot over the past few months and will definitely make smarter decisions in the future. It took me being on both sides of the fence to understand exactly what I was going about wrong. I jumped into a relationship with someone and was lucky enough for it to be someone that would have actually gave me the world. But, I wasn't prepared or ready for that. I can admit that now. They're a great person, but as time went by I seen they weren't the one for me. In the end they were hurt, well me too, but moreso them because I couldn't do it. Had I took the time to actually get to know the person ahead of time, I would have discovered that we probably weren't for each other and would have been better off remaining friends like it originally started.

I get hit on fairly often and asked about dating, etc. And while most of the time I do decline, generally because I'm not feelings the person. But, more recently because I'm trying to actually take the time to get over the last person. I still take into consideration some of the people who ask and while at the time I'm saying "no", I don't necessarily count the person out for in the future. But, it's hilarious that within a day or so of me saying, "no", I can hear, "such and such are dating." And it makes me happy that I didn't give it a chance, cause it's like well I was just one of many their interested in. Not saying I feel someone should put their life on hold for me, but if you are coming to me talking about you're "really feeling me", "have so much love for me", etc., I could go on for days. Well then I don't expect to hear days or a week from me saying, "no, not right now" that you are doing whatever with X,Y and Z. Because nine times out of 10 something was already there when you just was trying to get at me a week ago.

Relationships take time, period! You can't jump into these quick relationships because someone is sexy, they have money, a car, etc. Because in the end, it won't mean anything and you'll be single again. Either because they found the next person which is sexier than you or has the bigger bank roll or you did. Get to know the person truly, for who they are inside and out. Now once that has been done and you could actually sit down and tell that person things about them, that they wouldn't even think you could and vice versa and you'll still are feeling each other, then maybe that next step should be taken.

So basically as long as you continue to jump straight into these relationships after a week or two of dating, you'll end up single wondering why things never work out. Think of a relationship more like cooking a turkey; you have to remove all the excess baggage first, then prep it, add the different ingredients to fit your style and taste, let it bake in the oven for x amount of time, and then finally it's ready to be ate!